Have you ever had a disagreement with someone because you thought they were going to do one thing and they had assumed something different. Who was in the right? Well, obviously you were! Because in your head you were very clear about what you wanted, therefore you must have been right.
This is the problem with many interactions we have with people, whether in a work context or at home with family or friends. We make assumptions about what others would like and we make assumptions about what other people will do. Sometimes we get it spot on and things go smoothly, but when we don’t get it right, we really know about it because it tends to blow up out of all proportion. You have two people who believe they are right, because they both made the most logical assumption - only their assumptions were different!
If you can relate to this, you need to read on.
The most simple and powerful change you can make is about the distinction between having expectations of people and making agreements.
Very rarely do we make agreements with people. More often than not, we just expect things from people. Listen the next time someone is complaining about someone, or is upset about a situation. There is a good chance they expected someone to behave in a certain way, who didn’t and they were left feeling hurt, angry or worse.
We have expectations of what people ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ do. And we have expectations about how life should be.
These expectations are based on our unwritten rules
Clare Martin is a the founder of the Positive Teacher Network who specialises in helping teachers to find the ultimate Work Life Balance and supports them with many of the difficulties teachers face today.
The Positive Teacher Network provides practical tips and strategies to busy, tired teachers to help them improve their lives allowing them to focus on being great teachers.